Welcome back. As I start off the spring training blogging round for 2014, just a reminder that it's been a long winter and I will be drawing comparisons to the dating world as usual. That's the whole point of G.A.B.- to draw the parallels of a Girl's world to the wonderful world of baseball. Let's catch up on a few logistics, shall we? Our Pitchers and Catchers have already reported to Spring Training (reminder, I'm speaking as a loyal Dodger fan here). Clayton Kershaw, our ACE Pitcher signed with a record 7-year $215 million deal, Chad Billingsly is looking healthier (he had arm surgery), and Don Mattingly is on board once again as skipper with a three-year contract extension.
Now note, I have had a few changes of heart since last season and thus will be adding some new personal perspectives. A lot has happened.
Let's start with honesty shall we? Chad Billingsly is a favorite to be in the starting rotation as long as he is healthy and good-to-go by Opening Day. What I like about Chad is his refreshing honesty. All too often we hear of Players gushing how they are to get back in the game. But how honest are they being with themselves?
How many are simply strong enough to admit that although they feel better than they have in a long time, they are still just trying to take it day-by-day.
Everyone needs time to recover from being hurt. In baseball and in love and life.
GIRL TALK: Contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. It is what you DO with the time that matters. Say you have been through a bad break up. Or a divorce. (My own divorce was amicable and we remain friends, but I know that is not always the case.) Or say you have suffered a devastating personal loss- or met someone else who has. And let's say it's been a decent amount of time since the loss. If you still need more time to heal, then take the time. Just be honest about it, with yourself and with others. There is nothing wrong with laying low or dating several people at once, but be up front about it with whomever your actions might affect. Then at least you can look yourself in the mirror an know you have been honest. Plus it's easier to weed out the jerks this way. If he's not honest, then now at least you know.
Case in point: a recent online dating situation. The guy (claiming to be a widower) claims he doesn't have time to be continuing on the dating site. Says he is off a particular site. Now me, being a novice or a Rookie as the case may be to online dating- I believe him. No no no, he didn't ask for money, it wasn't a scam. But he played on the heart strings. Turns out, he was indeed still active and looking on the site. I never asked him to come down off the site. But he offered this piece of dishonesty and misleading information on his own. Hence, I can't trust anything else he has said. Who knows if he is even a widower? If he is, then I am sorry for his loss. I truly am. I too have lost a key person in my life to a horrible tragic incident, and it profoundly affects you always. Trust me, I get it. There are times, here, years later, I too will burst out into tears over missing someone who is no longer there, and no one else can understand. It happens.
But Ladies, listen up: a Guy who is hurt does not get a free pass to control you with misleading innuendos. If he had no control over his past pain, and he tries to control the current situation by inflicting disappointment and hurt onto you, (and who knows how many other women), do not put up with it. If he's dishonest in the beginning, he'll know he can continue being dishonest. With you as well as with himself. Maybe he has some intimacy issues to still deal with, or maybe he is still afraid to get too close to someone again. We can analyze it till the buffalo come home.
Now how does this compare to baseball? Let's look at Billingsly. He's honest about where he stands. He knows he's getting better. According to one source, his pitching is around the 80 mph zone. This is a good sign. But he himself admits he's got more work to do. Why would he want to come back before he is 100% and possibly re-injure himself? Same goes for the heart. It's okay to admit if you're not quite ready yet. Good people will understand. Good people will get it.
Billingsly's honesty is refreshing. I can respect it. And when he's ready to come charging out of that bull pen, I'm sure he'll be the first to say so.
And I'm sure Don Mattingly will know when he's made the final decision on who the fifth starter should be. He'll know when to stop looking.
In the meantime, be smart about things Ladies. Do your research. Make sure the Guy is who he says he is. Make sure his stories match up. Use your instincts. Use your heart, but keep your head on straight and use common sense. If he turns out to be the real deal, you'll know. You absolutely have to use your heart, but use your head too. We can learn all these things in baseball as well. Watch, listen and learn. Like baseball, love is so much more than just a game of numbers. There's got to be instinct and chemistry, yet you have to know you're safe with him. You'll know whether to keep looking, or whether you don't have to look any further. You'll know when you've found the perfect Starter.
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